


Stay

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-05
Updated: 2006-02-05
Packaged: 2019-05-15 15:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14792822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Every time Sam leaves, Josh thinks he isn't coming back.





	Stay

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Stay**

**by:** Del64 

**Character(s):** Josh Lyman  
**Category(s):** General  
**Rating:** YTEEN  
**Summary:** Every time Sam leaves, Josh thinks he isn't coming back.  
**Written:** 2005-11-25  


Every time Sam leaves, Josh thinks he isn’t coming back. 

He stretches, shifts in the chair, stands. From Josh’s desk, Sam rising looks like something holy, clean crisp white making sharp edges against the comfortable chaos of Josh’s office. 

“See you tonight,” Sam says, the ‘t’ clipping the air like a snap. 

“Yeah, see you,” Josh says, leaning back, a slack expression on his face. 

When Sam turns and leaves his office, Josh leans too far back in his chair and has a moment of freefall before regaining balance. 

And Josh is terrified. 

\--------------------------------------- 

Josh is smashed, his words loose and sticky like his hands, and he’s pretty sure Sam’s fast words are the only things holding him up, like hooks in his suit jacket. 

Maybe that’s why Sam seems to be controlling his movements, too--Sam raises his arm, Josh raises his. Sam turns his hand, Josh turns the key in his lock. But that doesn’t work so well, so Sam abandons the hooks and does it himself. Sometimes, Josh knows, sometimes Sam just has to do it himself. 

Sam puts Josh on the couch, still talking, talking, talking, and Josh says, “Sam, man, you coulda been one of those guys who does this disclaimers at the end of commercials, y’know? You know what I mean?” 

Sam is smiling, and then the room kind of time-travels a little bit, and Josh feels Sam’s hand on his shoulder and hears the door shutting as if they were simultaneous. And then Sam has left. 

Lying on the couch, too drunk to change the channel on the T.V., Josh listens to commercials and waits for Sam’s voice in the disclaimers. 

\---------------------------------------- 

On Thursday of the week Sam doesn’t sleep, Josh catches him in some hallway on the way to or from or into some thing, holds his arm maybe a little too tightly, and babbles about something unimportant long enough to memorize the shades of blue in his face. 

“Josh,” Sam says, blinking, “What is this about?” 

“Nothing,” Josh says, painfully. “Nothing--I’ll talk to Toby, work it out.” 

He doesn’t let go of Sam’s arm, but Sam is blinking and fidgeting and breathing kind of weird, so Josh releases his fingers just so Sam will breath normal but please don’t go don’t go please don’t leave please don’t. 

Sam pulls in a tight, long breath, like stretching a rubber band, and leaves. 

\--------------------------------------------- 

When California happens, like a freak storm when the sky turns green, Josh doesn’t even ask him to stay. 

He tells himself that Sam needs to leave, that he needs to move on and up, that Sam was always destined for larger, more beautiful things and that Josh would be a good friend to let him go easy. 

Josh wants a fight, wants bleeding knuckles and his face in the gravel of a parking lot and the words, hoarse: “I won’t let you go.” 

But Sam isn’t made for fighting. He isn’t made for leaving, either. Things happen, and Sam deals so Josh should deal, too. 

But shit, he wants to fight. Because Josh is terrified. 

\--------------------------------------------- 

On Friday of the year Josh doesn’t sleep, he turns his key in the lock with numb fingers and thinks he sees Sam asleep on his couch. 

He’s in a clean suit, the shirt white, his face white, and Josh can’t stop himself when he says, loudly, with no eloquence, “You left.” 

Sam isn’t asleep, but he is real, and for that Josh thanks the world. “Yeah,” Sam says, his eyes closed. “I left.”?He breathes, but it’s less like a rubber band and more like the tide, and when his eyes open they are every shade of blue Josh has ever memorized and hundreds he’s never seen. 

Sam sits up and makes room for Josh on the couch, but Josh can’t sit down. He’s standing, smiling, believing. Maybe, he thinks, Sam had to leave in order to come back. 

Hi,” Josh says, and he doesn’t have to say, “Stay.” 

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Thank you so much for reading! Reviews are appreciated--I am, of course, working on improving. Thanks for taking the time. 

\--Del64 


End file.
